My Birth Story

As I sit here with my new baby daughter on my chest.....(oh brother here come the tears already)....I am blown away by the love that has filled me. I never knew I could love someone so much that I didn't even know. I guess you could say I now believe in love at first sight. The moment she was put in my arms I knew that she was my everything, for the rest of my life. But bringing her into this world was not easy.... here's my story.

Tuesday night I started to get contractions. They weren't bad. But noticeable. By the time the morning came around, they were coming every 15 minutes. I had a Dr appointment so I went in with high hopes! Turns out I was only dilated 2cm and my midwife told me that I was having practice contractions. Bummer. She wasn't quite ready to come! I went home and endured the mild contractions for the rest of the day, feeling anxious. Little did I know, these contractions would seem like a walk in the park compared to what was ahead!
Wednesday night my contractions became more regular. I hadn't slept and knew I was up for another sleepless night. Sleep was impossible with these painful contractions coming every 8-10 minutes. I took a bath, and walked around trying to ease the pain. (again....HA! Walk in the park!)
The contractions were getting closer and closer together and I finally called the midwife. After an hour of my contractions being 4 minutes apart, we decided it was time to get ready to go to the hospital. The pain was unbearable. I thought for sure she would be born within the next couple hours! Now, I don't want to get too graphic but the pain was as if someone was trying to rip me apart from the inside. Think, Bella and her vampire baby literally ripping her apart to get out! I didn't know what to expect with contractions, but this was NOT it. And I was NOT prepared for the hours and hours of what was to come.
Mark washed my hair in the sink (what a sweet heart), we packed up and set out for the hospital at 4:00 am.
We got to the hospital and BAM....the contractions lightened up. Everything slowed down. I got checked in to our comfortable birthing room. My midwife checked me and I was only 3cm! How could that be!? All I could think was, if I had been in pain for this long, and I am only 3cm, how am I going to possibly find the strength to go on? I hadn't slept in two nights. The midwife was concerned that I needed sleep so she offered me morphine to help me sleep while my cervix dilated more. I gladly took it. I now regret it. I am thankful for the sleep it gave me, but I think it slowed things down even more. And it made me feel VERY drunk. I could barely walk and talk! I was completely out of it. Around noon, when it wore off, my midwife came to check on me again and saw I had not progressed. I was not happy with this midwife. I had never met her before. And she wasn't making me feel comfortable at all. She asked me what I wanted to do. HAVE THIS BABY! I wanted to yell! I looked to her for guidance, but the only advice she had was to maybe go home or to start me on Pitocin. Had she not read my Birth Plan? It clearly stated that I did NOT want medication, and she was already offering it to me? I wanted another midwife then and there. Finally at last resort, she offered to break my water. YES! Do it! I said! So she did.....and then the walk in the park was OVER. That was at 1:30 on Thursday afternoon.
The next 8 HOURS were pure HELL. Yes, HELL. The pain was hard and fast and never ending. And the leaking from my water being broken made everything uncomfortable. I was wet all the time, leaking all over the floor. We tried to go for a walk, but as I was dripping down my leg, I suggested we go back to the privacy of my room. And trying to pee was unbearable. I felt like she was going to fall out right then and there. It felt like as I stood up from my bed or toilet, my guts were going to just fall out beneath me. Sorry, that's gross, but that's what it felt like! And I still had a LONG way to go.
A lot of people have back labor. Not me. I had pain shooting down my upper thighs. The pain was so strong, I had Mark push down on them at each contraction to try and relieve the pain. And my legs were shaking uncontrollably due to hormones. The shaking wouldn't stop. It was as if I had hypothermia. So my legs were SO sore.
My midwife came in to check on me. Seeing my agony, she told me to get in the tub. This was a new midwife. One I had met, and liked. Whew! So I got in the tub and remained there for the next two hours until the point I had to get out to begin to push. The warm tub felt "good". If you can call it good. Pain beyond belief. BEYOND BELIEF! Why did no one warn me! Was this NORMAL!? There is no way people go through this! There is no way I will live to see another day! I was calling on Jesus to save me. I was wishing for death. I was begging for help. I was asking for pain relief. I was cursing the next looming contraction. Just kill me now....that's how I honestly felt. I was exhausted. Spent. Gone.
Mark, in the mean time, was amazing. Calmer than I could have expected. Coaching me through each contraction. Telling me to breath. Telling me good job. Talking me out of pain relief, saying this is what I wanted and what I have been preparing for all along. Reassuring me that I could do it. "NO I CAN'T!!! I just CAN'T!!"
People say they get the urge to push. I never got that urge. Push? You're kidding right? The thought of pushing pushed ME over the edge. But the nurse reassured me that soon I would have my baby, but I HAD to push to get her out! NOOOOOOO!!!
I tried every position in the book. Standing, squating, kneeling. Nothing worked. So I got on my back with my back elevated. Mark had one leg and the nurse had the other. This was the only way it was going to work for me. My nurse was amazing. She kept encouraging me even though I was yelling at her. She kept smiling, saying my baby was coming soon, and encouraging me to push harder. I pushed and pushed and pushed AND PUSHED! "Can you see the head yet!?" I asked! The reply I got was not a favorable one. "Not yet, but I was close." You gotta be kidding me! I can't push any harder and if I do, I am going to rip straight open from my butt to my vag! Sorry! No can do!
At this point, I was yelling and grunting...later Mark said I sounded like a 2000 lb bear. And the next day, my throat hurt like I had been at a rock concert all night!
"Just a few more pushes!" "You can do it this time!" "Keep pushing" "Use this contraction to get her out!" I heard all this....but I couldn't wrap my head around what was happening. I HAD to get her out and QUICK or I would die I was sure. So through my exhaustion and heart wrenching agony, I pushed one more time and HARD.
That's when they told me to look down because Mark was about to grab her! And then it was all a blur! Mark had her in his arms and put her right on my belly. She was so warm. She was so slippery! She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I could feel the pulsating umbilical cord connecting my daughter to me. I looked at Mark who looked completely stunned and he kissed me. I did it! But it wasn't over quite yet!
She told me to push again to expel the placenta. Out that came. We got to touch it! It was amazing! I had to get a shot in my anus....yes, anus, to numb me so she could give me two stitches from ripping. Then I had to get a shot in my thigh due to excessive bleeding. Then she had to give me stitches. At this time, my legs were shaking even harder. I told the midwife I hoped she had a steady hand! It felt like my labias were flapping in the wind! (I seriously hope I'm not offending anyone!) Then they were pressing on my belly. OUCH! Then they gave me a catheter to empty my bladder because there was no way in heck I was going to try to pee. If I even tried, out my guts would come, I was sure! It was as if they were beating me up! BACK OFF! I wanted to yell!
But my baby was in my arms. She was blinking up at me. She looked perfect. Perfect skin. Perfect dark hair like her daddy. Perfect long fingers and long fingernails! I couldn't believe how much she looked like her daddy! I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that for 9 months this is who I had been carrying around! She was finally here! In my arms!
The whole experience was amazing. Way worse than I had thought, but still amazing. I am glad I did it. I am glad that ONCE in my life I tried natural child birth. It was my right of passage as a mother. Now I am prepared for anything!
I can't wait to watch our little one grow. Not too fast, I hope! I have so many hopes and dreams for her. And I can't wait to see her personality blossom. I love her more than anything and I love her daddy too. Our little family is complete for now!

ONE WEEK LEFT!!

I can't believe I am AT THE FINISH LINE! One week from today is the big day! Of course I'm crossing my fingers that it will be sooner, but she will come when she is good and ready. And of course I'd love for my mom to be there when it happens, so hopefully I can practice my patience this week! Although I have been trying every trick in the book to get things moving down there! I've drank raspberry leaf tea, I ate eggplant, had sex, eaten spicy food to the point of sweating, walked hills, done yoga, and even danced to "I'm coming out",  but nothing seems to work! So I guess she is comfy and will come when she's ready! In the meantime, we are getting everything ready for her! Her nursery is set! The hospital bags are packed! Time to enjoy our last few days together before everything changes. FOREVER!!

Do Men Have A Clue?

I honestly don't think Mark has a smidgen of a clue what women go through during pregnancy! Poor guy, but COME ON! Let me start out by saying that he has been the greatest hubby during this whole thing and so supportive and loving. But sometimes, like tonight, I just wanna SLAP him (with love of course!?!)! I just wish he would SEE that dirty dish he left on the counter for two days! Doesn't he noticed that huge ball of hair on the floor that he just walked over!? You want me to do a load of laundry RIGHT NOW? At this hour? Are you seriously complaining about this small list of things I want you to get done by the weekend!? I JUST mopped the floor and your wearing your work boots in here!? We are having a baby any day now! I need HELP!
I was looking for something tonight and he was helping me look. Since I can't bend over to look under the bed, etc. After looking all over the bedroom he finally snapped at me and then I started crying of course! Then the tears wouldn't stop and they just came even harder! "This is SO HARD!" I wailed! He just kept telling me in a calm voice to "Relax! Think about things that make you happy!" "NOTHING makes me happy!" I kept wailing! As he stroked my arm and looked at me like I was having a mental breakdown (once again), I realized that maybe he doesn't have a clue, but how could he! How could any man understand these surges of hormones that come when we least expect them and take over our fat, bloated, stretched out bodies!? Poor Mark! I must be such a pain to be around lately! But I simply CAN NOT help it! This IS SO HARD! No one can prepare you for what you feel during these last weeks. And no one can prepare a husband to know how to deal with a pregnant wife! So I think we are doing the best we can! We may have our moments when we want to rip each other's hair out, but then we realize that this is just a hard time and I am not myself, and soon, VERY SOON we will have our little baby girl in our arms and it will all be worth it!

The Weird Things About Pregnancy!

I wanted to jot down some of the weird and unexpected things that I went through during this pregnancy. Things that most people never even think about, or take advantage of! Where do I start?
~You go through A LOT of toilet paper. I spend the majority of my day (and night) on the toilet!
~Speaking about going through things.....underwear. At least two pair a day (sorry for the details).
~It's really hard to do the dishes with a big belly in the way! I almost always walk away with a wet shirt!
~Socks....SO hard to put on! And even harder to take off. And don't get me started on shoes. Anything other than slippers and you can call that my workout for the day!
~"I'm going to shave my legs. See you in 2 hours!" Yeah, it's that hard.
~I can't see my own whoo-ha......don't really ever think about that one do ya? Well, "outta sight, outta mind" does NOT apply here!
~Never park on a hill....you might as well call AAA to help get you out of the car!
~Humidity=Hell on earth.
~NEVER sit down before locating the remote.
~Trying things on in a fitting room is NOT fun. Whoever designed those mirrors and lights should be stoned to death.
~Insomnia isn't a joke! Every night I wake up at 4:00 am......and stay awake! Thank God for Dice and Words with Friends (and my Maui friends who are still awake at those hours!)
~I may have gotten ten new cavities due to eating Tums all day, but I DON'T CARE. They saved my life!
~Nesting is REAL. Just ask my over-worked and under-paid vacuum. She is getting quite the workout!

That's all I can think of right now (which brings up another one....I can't think. Don't expect me to remember anything these days!). I do have to say I have had a pretty easy pregnancy. But even saying that, I did not really enjoy it! I don't understand those women (Tanya) who loved being pregnant! I just feel like a fire-breathing whale!

The Countdown!

Three more weeks to go! I can't believe it! 9 months sure went fast! Although, I'm sure if you were to ask me 5 months ago, the time was creeping by then.
She could really come any day now! And we are ready for her! We just had a conversation about these last few weeks being the last time it will be just "me and Mark".  I asked Mark if there were any feelings of "I wish we had done this, or that" or if he was sad it would never be just him and I EVER again. He said he thought we had done so much already. More than most people ever get to do in a lifetime, and our life isn't nearly over yet. I think he got it spot on! Our next adventure is just beginning!  And we are both so excited!

What's In A Name?

We still don't have a name yet! What the heck! I made a list of names we kind-of like....but the list is long and nothing is really jumping out at me! How is it that I've gone through life without a name in mind! Isn't that what girls do? Plan their wedding days and baby names before age 12? I guess I wasn't that type! So as of now, the list comes with us to the hospital and we play eenie-meenie? Oh boy! Maybe not the BEST plan!
We have SIX WEEKS left until the big day! I can't even believe how fast the time is flying by! I don't feel quite prepared yet. I haven't packed the hospital bag. Haven't written our birth plan. Mark hasn't read the ONE book I asked him to! The house hasn't been deep cleaned (although I am going through some nesting/organizing spouts!). I don't have any diapers.
I guess we better GET ready, because here she comes!!

7 More Weeks!!

On The Bright Side...

We are having SO much fun feeling her move around inside of me! It's such a crazy experience. No words can even really explain it....and I'm sure it's hard to imagine unless you've experienced it yourself! We always try to guess if it was her butt, her head, or maybe a hand that moves across my belly! And with Mark's hand on my belly, you can see it rise and fall as she dances around in there! We sit there for a while with no movement, and then "WHOA!", we feel her move BIG time! I like to think she reacts more when daddy has his hand on my belly! Mark can't get over the fact that we are actually feeling a human baby, growing inside me! Mind boggling! She better move around a lot right now, because it's about to get a lot smaller in there for her! She's about to have a big growth spurt over the next month!

Blastid Relaxin!

So...due to the excessive amount of the hormone relaxin floating around in my pregnant body, my joints and bones tend to be uncooperative! At the moment, (and for the past week and a half) I have had a rib out of place, which is causing excruciating pain! And the only way to get relief is to lay down....which then causes other pain, such as hip pain and this awful tingling pain in my chest! So REALLY, there IS no relief! I've been going to the chiropractor each week (sometimes twice a week), but due to the relaxin (causing my cartilage to turn to jelly) the rib simply won't stay in its place! DARN RIB! Anyway, it's all I can think about. It's like someone is literally stabbing me in the back! OUCH!!
And it keeps me in bed, which is not good. I want to be up and doing stuff, but the pain keeps me from it.
So....Dear Rib, please go back into place and LEAVE ME ALONE! Thanks!
Yours truly,
TICKED OFF, PREGNANT Brianne

Education Station

It's time to read up and GET READY!! The time is coming and I feel too unprepared. I got a few books about natural birthing and so far they are great! Mark is even reading a Daddy book as I type this! He wants to feel prepared too!
The book I am reading right now is called HypnoBirthing, the Mongan Method. (No, it's not about giving birth while you are hypnotized....I'm not THAT hippy!) So far, it has taught me that my body is perfectly made. Made to give birth. And works in harmony with my mind. And that when my mind is free and clear of fear and tension, my body will function as it was created by God to do. When fear is not present, pain is not present. And in the absence of fear, my muscles will relax and become pliable and my cervix will naturally thin and open. The book is teaching me to identify my feelings of fear, meet them head-on, and release them! That way they cannot resurface during the birthing. Fear is the enemy of the birthing room! I truly believe that I can do this! I can remain calm and collected, with Mark by my side coaching me through it. I refuse to believe that my birthing process has to be painful suffering. I don't want to bring our little girl into a world of negative energy. She will be born into a peaceful, loving, caring, and happy environment!
Enough hippy talk, right!

We've decided that we aren't going to take a Birth Preparation class. For one, they are too expensive. And for two, a lot of the information provided, I don't feel we need. They show videos of mothers giving birth, and talk about the medications available to you. I don't want any images of mothers giving birth in my head, when I am trying to be calm and peaceful during my birthing process. And I don't want to hear about any medications available, because I don't need any of those either! I think the books will prepare us just fine. And the advice from all my new mommy friends out there is helping SO much too! Many of my closest friends have been giving me great advice, and they have put my mind at ease in many ways! :)

Love the new rug 

from Mom and Brooke! And the curtains and dust ruffle were made by my oh-so-talented Mom! 

 

I painted the whale myself!! 

Vacation Time!

We just got back from our Goodmanson family reunion at the Tetons National Park! It was a blast! The mountains are so beautiful, they look like a computer screen saver! Mark had a lot of fun hiking up to Amphitheater Lake. I don't think I could have made it! Walking up stairs is tough enough for me these days! Instead, I took all the kids on a short hike to a gorgeous waterfall across Jenny Lake.
My belly  is getting SO big! T-shirts I was able to wear last week, now reveal my belly at the bottom! Uffda! And every maternity shirt I have has a stain on it! Apparently eating is a challenge to me too! I can't eat without spilling on my big protruding belly! Maybe if I slowed down a bit!?
Mom and Dad are in Denver for a few days with us! We have been working hard on the nursery! Mom is a genius and has turned a plain room into a gorgeous nursery fit for a princess! I can't wait to show our little girl! I'm sure she will LOVE it! I've been going in there just to look around and dream! I'll post some pics!

Where Has The Time Gone!?

I KNOW, ALLIE! I haven't posted in a while! I'm sorry! I forget you want to stay in the loop! I also forget that if I don't write stuff down, I WILL forget! And I don't want to forget any little detail of this experience!! So here's what's been going on in the last month or so!
Since I got back to Denver, I have been growing more and more each day and Lil' Wagner is moving around inside me like crazy! Sometimes she even wakes me up at night! It feels like someone is punching me in the gut....well, I guess she is! Sometimes it feels like she's doing "Dance Dance Revolution" in there! And I can watch my belly twitch when she really starts going! I haven't been able to pin down a certain time of day that she is more active. It's usually when I'm sitting, being quiet that I really notice it.
It feels good to actually LOOK pregnant now. Before, I just felt like a chub-wad! People are starting to comment on my belly when I go out in public. There hasn't been any touching of the belly yet though! And my wardrobe is getting smaller and smaller! I managed to get a few pants from a second hand store, but I have a feeling Mark is getting sick of seeing me in an arrangement of wife-beaters. It must get old! But what else fits!? Nothing!
My growing belly itches A LOT! And it's really affecting my back as well. As my belly grows, my posture gets worse and worse. It puts a lot of strain on my back and I often have to lay down in order to relieve the pain. I have started going to a chiropractor once a week, so I am hoping that he can fix me! He assures me that his adjustments will make the labor and delivery go much smoother! Anything that will help the delivery to go smoothly is alright with me!
Sleeping has been HORRIBLE. I toss and turn all night. And tossing and turning isn't as easy when you have a big belly! My hips have growing pains so bad that I often have to pile up the pillows and sleep sitting up. And of course I wake up and have to pee so bad it hurts! Sometimes I think I'm going into labor then and there! I know, I know....just wait for the real thing, right!? Yikes!
Here I am, 27 weeks in and I still don't think that it's hit me that I am actually going to HAVE A BABY. Sometimes a thought will pop in my head.....usually involving me in the delivery room, sweating, yelling at Mark to take the pain away......and then I push that little thought WAY back to the back of my brain....I'll deal with THAT later! But the time is soon approaching (my midwife told me today that I could technically go into labor in 10 short weeks!), and I have to start thinking about these things! There WILL be pain, there WILL be tears....but in the end, there WILL be a beautiful baby!
Mark and I want to sign up for some prenatal classes. But they are kind-of expensive, so I need to shop around a bit to find the cheapest ones. I think Mark might freak out a little if they show us a birthing video. Maybe that's when it will hit us both, that there is NO stopping this train!
I am STILL a slave to my sweet tooth. My chiropractor told me it's time to say no to the doughnuts! I know I need to stop, because after the baby comes....I am going to be CURSING those wretched brownies for turning my thighs into cottage cheese! The better I do now, the easier it will be to lose the pounds after. It's just SO HARD to say no to cookies, and pancakes!
I had a Dr appt today. They tested my glucose levels. I'll hear from them if I have been eating too much sweets! She said I am doing great, and I'm growing right on track. Her heartbeat is in the 140's, as usual. I now have to go to the Dr every two weeks! Time is ticking away! Soon, I'll be going once a week until the big day!
THE BIG DAY.....I can't even imagine when that time comes when I tell Mark that "it's time!". Our lives will change forever from that moment on. Tears come to my eyes when I think about Mark in the delivery room. I know he will be my rock. We are such a good team, and he will keep me calm! As calm as I can be! We all know there will be yelling and crying and laughing and pure chaos! But through it all, Mark will be there by my side, holding my hand.
A side note...I just wanted to note how many people are pregnant at the same time as me! I SWEAR, there is something in the water, and everyone I know is pregnant, or JUST had a baby!
Michelle- due shortly after me. She is going to visit next month so we can rub our bellies together!
Kimberly- due in a couple weeks
Heather- told me while I was in MN! So excited!
Levi- his girlfriend, of course!
Jenny- my old boss from the Sheraton. Same due date as me!
Andrea- Mark's friend from Arkansas, we are just a few days apart!
Karen-Ben Wayne's wife
Nica-just found out!!
Kaari- high school friend
And there is more than a handful of friends who just had a baby recently! It's crazy how many close friends of mine are pregnant! It will be SO fun when we can all get together with our little tots!
OK, so I'm sure I have missed a million things, but for now, Allie, I hope that will do! I promise to post more often so I don't forget all the little things!
And I need to upload some pictures too! WILL DO SOON!!

Mental Breakdowns....Normal, Right?

Well, now that I am back home from MN, the loneliness has officially set in! Being pregnant is hard enough with all these crazy hormones flying around! But to not be able to share it with my closest girl friends or family is pretty tough. Mark is a GREAT listener, and I am starting to feel a bit sorry for him. He must think I'm off my rocker, crying every other day!
Last week I had an official break down! I wanted to make him a nice dinner when he got home from work. I asked him if he had any ideas, and he said "stuffed chicken". OK people, I am NOT a good cook...so when he said that, I panicked a bit. But that's what he wanted, and dang-it, THAT'S what he was gonna get! I didn't want to go to the grocery store, so I scoped out what we had. I came up with apple and cheese stuffed chicken, easy enough!? Mark got home from work and the cooking began. He was nice and settled in his cozy chair, reading and relaxing after a hard days work when I said "how do you flatten chicken! This smasher thing isn't working! It's just flinging chicken juice everywhere and mutilating it!" And the tears began to flow! I mean, for REAL! That STUPID chicken! It was NOT cooperating! Good reason to cry, right? Right. Well, Mark came to the rescue and pounded out the chicken, but now it looked like it had been run over by a train, and ripped up by hungry lions, and now the kitchen was caked in salmonella!  How was I suppose to stuff THAT!? IMPOSSIBLE! So as I am cutting up the apples, and my tears are giving them a nice salty flavor, and I'm wailing "I don't WANT dinner anymore. I can't do ANYTHING with that dumb, ugly chicken! I can't cook".  Poor Mark. He must have been mortified. I had my apron on with mascara streaming down my face, waving a meat tenderizer in the air. So he just stepped in and hugged me. He became my human kleenex. What an amazing man, my husband! And then the laughing began! As I was wiping my snot on his shirt, we just laughed at my insane breakdown! And our dinner turned out fabulous!

A Few Firsts!

Well, I haven't posted in a while due to the fact I was in MN for the last 3 weeks! Busy as a bee! But so much has happened that I need to get written down so I don't forget!!
FIRST...we found out the sex of the baby! I WAS going to keep this part a secret so that everyone was surprised when we had the baby. But they second I found out, I wanted to shout it off the rooftops! I couldn't help myself! Tanya was the first to know....within 30 seconds of me finding out of course! Mark just laughed and knew that the whole "keeping it a secret thing" wasn't going to work! My nurse wrote down the sex on a card and I took it to Macy's and had a clerk pick out a blue or pink outfit. Mark and I then went out on a date and opened it together! It was one of the most exciting things I have ever done! I was SO nervous! Mark opened it and sure enough, it was PINK! We couldn't believe it! We both thought we were having a boy! My mind was set! But nope! A girl it is! And we are very excited! Now we just have to come up with some names! We have a few...but we'd like a few more. I think we will know what to name her when we see her! 
THEN I actually felt her for the first time! On June 4th, Mark and I were laying in bed the night before I left for MN. And sure enough, I could feel some slight flutters! I could have been mistaking the same feeling for gas earlier, but who knows! So, my worries went away! She really was in there! Kicking around and growing as healthy as can be! It was amazing! She was probably saying goodbye to daddy! 
THEN on Monday, June 18th, I was laying in bed in the morning. I had my hand on my stomach and all of a sudden I felt a little kick on my hand! At first I thought it had to be a pulse or something. It was such a tiny movement! But then I felt it again! And I couldn't believe this was all happening so fast! She was letting me know she's a happy girl! And that she missed her daddy I am sure! That evening, I was laying on Brooke's couch and my Mom, Brooke, and Audrey all got to feel her move! Audrey was so excited! She's most active at night now. I was so anxious for Mark to feel her when I got home! He had his hand on my stomach for a while, but couldn't feel anything. I said his hands are too calloused to feel it! But then later on in bed, he felt her kick! She was kicking more than she ever has! Big movements! It was amazing to have Mark feel her too! 
THEN Brooke and Heather threw me an amazing shower! It was so fun! I had been so anxious to get together with friends to talk "baby". I hadn't really gotten the chance to really gush about me being pregnant yet, so having a party to celebrate it meant the world to me. I am so grateful for all they did for me! 
Mark couldn't believe how much I have grown since he saw me last! I really popped in 3 weeks! I missed him so much! I couldn't help but cry when he picked me up! Mark keeps taking pictures of my belly, and saying "Wow babe!! You've got a belly!" He told me he was surfing the web and came across a picture of a little girl sitting on a dock with her toes in the water. He said he just stared and stared at it for a long time, imaging his own daughter one day! He's getting very excited. He has even agreed to taking some classes at the hospital to get ready for our big arrival in 4 short months!
Now that I am home and actually know the sex of the baby, I'm excited to start to get the nursery together! Hang up her little clothes, organize all the fun stuff I got at the shower! These 4 months are going to fly by! We have so much to do! But it is all going to be so fun!

22 Weeks! My Baby Banana!

My Lil Mango!

18 Weeks! I Love My Lil Mango!

Well....time seems to be flying by! I can't believe I'm almost to the half way mark! The baby is now about 6 inches long from head to rump! The size of a large mango! The baby is yawning, hiccuping, suckling, and swallowing! Growing so fast!
I had a little freak out a few days ago. I think I read too much on the pregnancy subject. Everything I have been reading says that I should have felt the baby by now, and I haven't felt anything yet! Maybe I just don't know what I am suppose to be feeling! I could be mistaking movement for gas bubbles! Who knows! Tanya felt Rylee at 15 weeks, but Heather didn't feel Henry until week 20. So I just have to be patient, and trust God that everything is A-OK!
I am definitely not fitting into my clothes anymore. I bought my first pair of maternity jeans at GAP the other day! Got them on sale for $13!! And they were the most comfortable things I've ever worn! I didn't want to take them off!! I'll have to get a pair of shorts or capris as well.
Looking forward to going home in a week! AND I am most excited to find out the sex on FRIDAY!! Yay! I can hardly wait! I'm a little nervous too! It will be so fun to finally know what we are having!
But remember! It's a SECRET!!

16 Weeks!

16 Weeks and Counting!!

I'm stretching!! Belly is getting bigger! And it's itchy! I grease up with cocoa butter and bio oil each morning and night, but CO is so dry that it gets soaked up right away!
I have been having some crazy, intense, VIVID dreams since I've been pregnant! I kind-of look forward to my dreams each night! I never know what's going to happen! I've had 3 dreams that it's a boy, and I just had my first girl dream the other night. And more often then not, I dream that I drop the baby! Maybe it means I'm worried I'm going to "drop the ball" as a parent or something!
I'm looking forward to going home in a few weeks! I'm looking forward to being able to talk about the baby with real live people! I haven't gotten that chance yet! And to go shopping and figure out the nursery with Mom!
The baby is the size of an avocado right now! Weighing in at a whopping 3.5 ounces! In the next two weeks, the baby is going to double in weight! I thought that was crazy! In just two weeks! I suppose that's when the "POP" happens! Maybe then I'll start to look pregnant to other people!
My energy level is up again! I've been able to start walking, biking, and doing yoga again. It's a good thing, because I am starting to gain weight in all the wrong places!
Tessa said she would bring me some maternity clothes to borrow! I'm relieved because I really didn't want to spend the money on new clothes!
That's all for now!!
Question: What was your favorite lullaby to sing? Leave it in the comment box!

Baby On The Move!

Took the baby out on a hike this weekend! I could tell I was carrying someone other than myself! It was harder going up hills than usual! I had to remind Mark I was building a baby. SLOW DOWN!! He needed reminding a few times! And one time, he helped Dixie down from a rock and turned and walked away..."Hey! Do you wanna help your pregnant wife too, or just the dog!" We had a good laugh about that one! He was sure to help me after that!
The baby's ears are developing this week, so it can hear us now! I read that the baby can recognize songs you sang to it while in the womb. I better start singing more in the shower!

The Naked Truth About Pregnancy

I ordered the book, Belly Laughs, by Jenny McCarthy. I got it in the mail today, and believe it or not, I already finished it! It was just so funny I couldn't put it down. She writes about what people don't talk about! The funny, embarrassing, and gross truths of pregnancy! I was laughing out loud at parts, like how she made her husband pull the car over so she could pee...in her friends driveway! Or how she was falling asleep mid-sentence. And how she gave up looking at her backside in the mirror because it made her depressed to see all that cottage cheese! I saw myself in her stories a lot! Some, I won't mention here....I'm sure you are relieved!
Well, I had another Dr. appointment this week. It was just a routine checkup. My blood work came back great! Nothing wrong with mommy, and nothing wrong with baby! I really liked the midwife I had this time. She was from Wisconsin. She made me feel at ease, was very friendly. I'll have to keep her in mind for my delivery :)
At my next appointment, on June 5th, we get to find out the sex! I am soooo excited! I'll have to fight the urge to go out and buy all pink or all blue baby items. I've already had to fight the urge not to buy stuff when I see it! Knowing the sex will make it even harder! And I suppose it's going to be hard to keep the news a secret! People will be mad at me I am sure! Maybe I should just tell people I never found out!
The baby is growing fast, and is now able to make facial expressions. Good ones, if it's anything like mommy! Also, a layer of hair has grown all over its body to protect it from the amniotic fluid, but it will lose it right before delivery. It can make sucking actions too! Getting ready to nurse.
Now that school is over, I will have to find some hobbies to fill my time. I plan on getting into our Rosetta Stone. So hopefully by the end of the summer, I can speak a little Spanish! I also signed up for a summer Pathophysiology class online. So that will take up some time as well. I also want to get in shape. When grandma was here, we took her to Red Rocks Amphitheater, where people were working out and running the stairs. She said, "you do this, Brianne, and your delivery will be easy!" That really stuck with me, so hopefully I can get motivated! I've been biking (not sure how much longer I can do that, due to safety) and walking hills. I'd like to get into some prenatal yoga somehow. I haven't found any videos yet.
I tried on my summer shorts today.....no way jose. Not gonna work! I guess I should invest in some comfortable capris and skirts!
I didn't take a nap today! That's the first day in a long long time! So maybe I'm getting my energy back! Let's hope!
Love you!

Baby Bump!!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while! First off, thank you Mom and Dad for the wonderful gift of starting a college fund for Baby Wagner! We are beyond grateful! You are too generous! Baby Wagner is so blessed!
So since my last post, we had our first sonogram, and I am still smiling about seeing our little one move around inside of me! I still watch it almost every day! And I think since Mark saw it, it's becoming a little more "real" to him too! We are beyond excited! The sonogram showed that the baby is perfectly healthy!
I am still feeling great! I have another appointment on Tuesday with my midwife. I plan to ask her what she thinks about flying and traveling. It makes me a bit nervous, but I know I just have to trust in the Lord!
I took my first "baby bump" pictures today before church! I feel like I woke up with a bigger belly than yesterday! Thankfully a few of my pants still fit though! Hopefully that doesn't change!
We are getting anxious to find out the sex of the baby! I have had two dreams that it's a boy! But I also have dreams that I drop the baby.....so maybe I don't want my dreams to come true! :)
We were just talking about how fast these past three months have been! I'm already at 14 weeks! We are starting to realize that these next six months might go by faster than we think, and we better get ready to have our lives flipped upside down!

Love you!!

Heartbeat!!!

So, my checkup went well! I met one of the midwives and she was very nice! I'm excited to learn more and more each time I visit. I told her I was going to be attending nursing school next winter and she said, "maybe you'll be attending midwifery school after that!" So I am excited to see how all the midwives take care of me!

She felt my uterus and told me it was the size of an orange.

I had a very severe headache all night. It just wouldn't go away. I even dreamed about it, so even in my sleep I was in pain. Mark got up around 5:30 and went to the store for some Tylenol. My hero!

Nothing else new I suppose! Continue praying for this lil' person growing in me!

Love ya!

Two Months In!! (but that means 7 left..OY!)

I finally have an appointment to see a midwife tomorrow! I'm excited! And a little nervous! I don't really know what to expect! I hope I get another picture! This time, it will actually look like a baby and not a blueberry!

At this point, it's amazing, but the critical period for the baby's development is over! All the organs and body parts are developed! So now, it's just time to grow. It even has fingernails! And it's moving around with purposeful movements. I can't feel it yet, but I will in just 2 short months! It's reproductive organs have developed, but it's too early to see what the sex is. It's now the size of a prune!

I woke up this morning feeling SO blessed that I haven't had morning sickness at ALL!! I think I am very lucky. I have felt queezy at moments, but it passes within minutes. I'm am feeling less and less tired too! That comes in waves also. A quick nap around 3:00 always helps! Gotta take advantage of my free time while I can!

My Family Rocks!!

Thank God for my wonderful, generous family!! My cousins Suzi and Brian just gave us a ton of baby stuff they didn't need anymore!! We are so blessed!! I'm only 2 months preggers and we already have some essentials! Thank You, Thank You!! It was really fun getting all of this! Now it's just hard to imagine that I have to wait 7 more months to use it!

Nesting

I got the crib set up!! It was pretty exciting, I must say! Now that I've registered, I feel like I want everything right now! I guess you could say that I am nesting. It was fun to go through all the baby clothes Brooke brought me! Now I just can't wait to find out the sex!

I've been trying to find an OBGYN today so that I can begin my prenatal care, and it has proven to be more difficult than imagined. It's not as easy as calling up the hospital and making an appointment. I guess the hospital refers me to some Drs. and I then proceed to call those Drs. to make an appointment, whose offices are not located at the hospital I want to give birth at. I guess I am a little confused. I'm not sure if I even want an OBGYN. I was sure I wanted a midwife. I am just curious as to how the midwife handles prenatal care as opposed to an OBGYN. I feel like I am being transferred to different people and no one is giving me clear answers. Not sure what to do from here.

At 9 weeks and 4 days, not much is changing with the baby these past few days. Although it is growing rapidly! It's now considered a fetus and not an embryo! And it's about the size of a green olive! If I went to the Dr. today, I would be able to hear it's fast heart beat! The baby's reproductive organs are starting to form, but we won't be able to distinguish it for a while! Bummer!

Headaches have been a slight problem. I try to drink tons of water in order to help. I'm still exhausted and motivation is at its lowest! Thank goodness it's Spring Break! Time to lay out!

It's My Baby, I Can Cry If I Want To!

8 weeks and 2 days!

Well, not much has changed. I am still incredibly tired. And uncomfortable in my own skin. I am feeling extra bloated, and feel unconscious in my clothing! I don't think I am suppose to be showing quite yet, but my belly says otherwise. And being so tired, makes it hard to get up and exercise! I am extremely emotional lately and no matter how hard I try, I can't stop the waterworks! Mark has been wonderful and even made me a candle-lit dinner last night. He has been very supportive and makes sure I know that he is there for me! (And he runs to the store when I'm craving chocolate chip pancakes! I hate pancakes!)

I can't wait until the second trimester. I heard things get better then! But I do have the fact that I am not sick to be thankful for!

The baby has graduated from a blueberry size, to a raspberry size! It's growing over a millimeter a day! The baby has begun to move, although I can't feel it quite yet. It's arms and legs are developed which have begun to flap around! And it's tiny hands have lost their webbing. My uterus is the size of a small grapefruit, and I often feel cramping upon it's growth. Of course I freak out each time this occurs, but Mark reminds me to "stay calm for the baby". I'm still trying to eat healthy, and not give in to my daily cupcake cravings. If you subscribe to Pintrest, you know this because I have begun to "pin" dessert recipes. Sometimes I have to stop myself from licking the screen!

I have begun to think about nursery themes. And I can't wait to begin decorating! I'll need some help though!

Once again, I thank you for your daily prayers! Maybe this week, you can pray for a peace that passes all understanding! I could use it! Thank goodness Spring Break is next week. That will give me a chance to re-group!

Being away from family is tough enough, but being pregnant and away from family is even worse! My mom didn't want to feel left out from my experience so I decided to make a blog for her! Mom, I will try to keep you posted on every Dr. appt., every inch gained, and every detail! I'll also make sure you are seeing my bump grow!

So far, at 7 weeks, I feel great! I'm pretty tired though. As my friend put it yesterday, I have a parasite in me sucking out all my energy. And as gruesome as that sounded, I guess I have to agree! I'm pretty worn out!

The baby is now as big as a blueberry, that's 10,000 times bigger than it was at conception just a few weeks ago! This week, there will be a lot of brain development. It's arms and legs are beginning to sprout and it is looking less and less like a tadpole!

Staying motivated for school has been tough, but my grades are still good. It's hard not to think about the baby 24/7! So much to think about, and to dream about!

Thanks for your prayers!